My Experience, Strength & Hope Through 24yrs as a FF/Paramedic

I’ve been wanting to do this for quite some time but didn’t have the “Guts” (that’s my nickname). I want to first tell you how grateful I am for all of Team Never Quit & your Podcast! You have played a huge part in me becoming the man I am today.

I’ve been a full time FF/Paramedic since 7/3/95 & I was also in the Crash N Salvage Crew on the USS Forrestal from 88-90. I’ve had a career of seeing & experiencing many awful things over the years but I’m just focusing on 3 events. In 2001 on Father’s day 10 mins after my 6 yo daughter left the station I had to respond to & treat a 7 yo girl who’s Mother murdered her by suffocating her with a pillow. Fast forward to 2013, I was involved in a shooting where the shooter was waiting in the woods for us. He was shot (lived) by PD & fortunately the rifle jammed (do to wrong ammo) when he pointed it my way while squeezing the trigger. I along with many Public Safety are very good at helping others, but speaking for myself, I have always sucked at helping myself. There were many, many other bad calls, along with two divorces & a tornadic path of destruction left behind me.

My only “tool” I knew to turn the volume down on life was alcohol. Then I tore my rotator cuff in 2015 after battling with a confused/combative head injury pt. Do to the 4 anchors I needed to repair it I was going to be out of work for 6 months & I began fine tuning the skills for my 1 tool. I always was treading water with the PTS/booze before this but it was more like trying to push a beach ball under water. I began to rapidly become even more hollowed until I hit my bottom & surrendered on 12/01/2017. I immersed myself in AA, began having a relationship with God again & the journey to rediscover myself had begun. I’m blessed to have found this Podcast in those early dark days because you all have given me strength beyond words. I’ve been sober over 2 yrs now & am very involved in my program. I’m also very involved on a CISM team and am very involved in Peer support. I’ve found a new passion in trying to help Veterans in my field (any and all advice encouraged) & will continue to learn more. Most of all I will “Never Quit” thank you for all you do. There is so much more to my story but thank you for the ability to share a fraction of it.

Be safe & Be well,

Author: Brian