I hope to remain anonymous as I currently work in law enforcement and I only wish to motivate and inspired others. Growing up my childhood made me incredibly strong and life has continued to harden me. My father was a severe alcoholic who abused any woman in his life. He was married 7 times and I always tried to respect him and forgive for all of his wrongdoings. My mother went through a horrible depression and other marriages herself. She had married a man who tried to kill all of us and stalked me and my brother. I was not allowed to go to recess as a young child because he would be sitting in the parking lot everyday, watching me. My mother ended up leaving on and off when I was 13 and me and my oldest brother, who was 19, raised ourselves. I was in high school at the time and I fell in love with a guy that I went to school with.
At this point we were both 14 and living together, making horrible decisions. I found out I was pregnant at 16 and I left him as I wanted a better life for our daughter. I graduated high school early and I started college. I went on to get a bachelors degree and join the army national guard. When I came home from training, I applied to become a police officer in my local town.
About a year into my law enforcement career, there was an officer involved shooting with the father of my daughter being the shooter. My world came spiraling down and I began questioning everything in his death. I came to the realization that I had always forgiven my father for sexually abusing me because he was always drunk and I gave him that excuse. I always tried to be so strong and hold all of the burdens that surrounded me. There are so many other things that happened in this time and I became very depressed and didn’t even want to look at my daughter because all I could see was my high school sweetheart laying dead in the street. It’s been three years since this event and while I still go through days where the depression is crippling, this podcast is my daily motivation for life, for strength and compassion. I recently graduated with my masters degree and I am looking forward to the future. Thank you guys for everything that you do! Stay the course.