Tony – My Wife, Toughest Person I Know

First off I would like to thank you guys for what you do, your podcast along with gallons of coffee are the only things that keep me awake during my hour and a half commute to work. I would like to share a story about my wife Jill, who would never share this about herself. She grew up in an abusive and neglective home, her father was verbally and physically abusive and her mother was neglective. She had to learn to trust God and how to survive at a young age. She has shared with me stories of how when her father was screaming in her face and hitting that she new he couldnt break her spirit and how her faith in Christ is what gave her the strength to carry on. From having to work so she could buy clothes to figuring out how she was going to eat lunch at school Jill had to figure things out and provide for herself younger than anyone should have to. Its no suprise that she moved out on her own very young and had to try and navigate the world with very little if any help from her parents. Having no example of what a healthy relationship should be she weathered abusive relationships trying to create what she never had, a family. Having children she did what she had to do to provide for them and for herself which meant working multiple jobs to put food on the table. We met when I returned from my second deployment to Iraq my first was to Afghanistan. We started dating shortly after, fell in love and got married. I was dealing with many of my own demons and self medicated with alchohol which only caused pain in our marriage. My wife stood by me and always supported me through my own garbage. I eventually had to make the decision to quit drinking and I say quit drinking because I didnt get sober I just stopped using alchohol and was a dry drunk. We trudged through our marriage and I eventually became a Police Officer which gave me direction and allowed me to provide for my family. My demons only added to the stress of shift work and the general stress that comes with LE which I allowed to affect our marriage and took out my stress on my wife by disconnecting and through my anger. Jill’s father became terminally ill with lung cancer, his years of hard drinking and smoking cought up with him. In his last weeks he apologized and asked for her forgiveness which she freely gave and for a brief moment she had a Dad. His death was hard and we made it through but soon our troubles progressed to my rock bottom which was sitting in a courtroom at a hearing for the restraining order my wife had to get against me due to my excessive drinking, violent attitude and pursuing other women. This my friends was a very dark time in my life, during that time I contemplated many times about taking my own life. Through the grace of God my wife found the strength to forgive me and to try and move forward. I also found strength in God to finally get sober and to become the man God intended me to be. Jill is continuosly fighting to find healing and strength to not give up on our marriage and we are working to move forward. My wife Jill was raised by a drunken Marine and then married one. She stood by and took care of her father in his last days and has always been by my side and taken care of me. I like to think Im pretty tough, being in the infantry going through SERE, being on a SWAT Team and working Narcotics I have seen a few things, certainly not as much as many of you in the special forces community, especially Marcus. Im still a knuckle dragging meat eater to say the least. However, my wife is the toughest person I know, I have never seen her lose her faith in God or not stand up for what she believes in. She truly lives the never quit mindset. She has raised four very succesful kids who now have their own families where they use the many things they have learned from her to raise there own kids. I will end by thanking you guys for your service in the Teams and for your continued service by doing what you do on your podcast and with the tours you do. And welcome your prayers for my wife Jill and I.
God Bless

Author: Tony