Hi just want to say thanks. As I write this we are not in the same country, not even the same continent, we probably do not have the same political or religious views but after a week of listening to the tnq podcast, I realized that I had my own never quit story that I had forgotten.

Most of my life I have struggled with depression and anxiety. I struggled at school from bullying from kids and teachers due to what I now know is dyslexia. So when I was 18 1988 I joined the Territorial Army in the Uk. I think it’s the same as your National Guard.

I enjoyed training I found peace among the recruits and other soldiers. That all changed during my final two basic training. I was bullied by this one recruit as a was always at the back on full kit runs or struggled with drill causing my platoon to be published full metal jacket style. I got to the point when I wanted to quit but the voice in my head said if you quit they were right you are a loser (they being the bullies and teachers), so I just kept going on the second to last day we had an 8 mile march and shoot ( 8 mile full kit run the obstical cause the target shoot), the best platoon wins a case of beer. I was so scared I would screw up and cause my team to loose (squadies like beer).

So the next day we set off on this run and I was not last I was keeping up and doing good at the 4 mile mark the recruit that was bullying me started struggling to the point he wanted to stop it be stopped he failed and we would get a time penalty so the platoon agreed to drag him with us out Corporal even carried his kit all be had was his rifle. We finished the race and we won the case of beer.

Later that day I found out why I was always at the back for kit runs. I was told by a sergeant before training what to carry in my kit and it turned out that our kit had to be a correct weight for the final run (I can not remember the weight) most recruits kit was just basic stuff but I always carried extra stuff. Sowing kit, batteries, torch, first and extra stuff like that so I got my body use to running with weight. So if we go back to the kit runs I was always carrying more than most recruits hence being at the back but once we were all equal I was just as good as them if not more prepared. I got through my basic infantry training with the drive to prove them wrong back home and I did. I went away a18 year old weak guy came back private James 24833857. The crazy thing is that for the next 34 years I forgot that story how I proved I was not a failure and I have struggled with my depression and anxiety and all the pain it caused.

So thanks to your podcast I finally remember that story and now I see a reason to get up and do things when I could just as easy sit on my arse due to covid lockdown in th UK. So once again by complete accident I found your show and I found a purpose so maybe my views on God need a review too. Take care stay safe and don’t stop. One more thing the recruit bully who was giving me grief he never said a word to me again not even in the mess afterwards when we drank our beer we won or the 5 hour bus ride home. Peace and love from Ian in th UK.

Author: Ian