I am afflicted with alcoholism and drug addiction. I was a terror in Jr. High School and was put into a treatment center by my Grandparents after several arrests from drug possession to grand theft auto. I had all the advantages of life a kid could ask or even dream of, but drug addiction took me from the principals my parents instilled in me as a child from an upper middle class household. I wanted the madness of drug addiction (have a peek here) to end even in 1983 when I was the ripe ole age of 13 years of age. I didn’t know there was a different way to live. I had hoped I could stop, but the devil on my left shoulder was talking to me even in treatment. I didn’t make it a week. They spoke of God in the AA meeting and thought I was…. “too dirty white trash” to ask Him for help. It is best for you to Click Here, if you’re looking for addiction treatment for alcohol or drug abuse.
Most have difficulties trying to rely on their Creator to obspell the obsession, compulsion and desire to drink or do drugs. 35 years later, I still see new folks have that same problem, setting aside everything they think God is and what He wants for us, we cannot tear down the wall of preconceived ideas of how to really contact this allusive SOURCE OF POWER, to learn to live a new life. I have had four one year birthdays, and failed every time except once and returned to my addictions. Failure is definitely a part of paying our dues to finally succeed and see where we went wrong. It says in our text, “we are people who are bent on self destruction” This was the central fact of my existence. I have always been the one cutting my own throat. I had no one to blame but myself. I had to conform to the principals of AA in order the live a happily useful lifestyle.
I relapsed at 10 years sober and life became BLEAK at best. I was homicidal and suicidal at most turns. I welcomed it with open arms. I failed to enlarge my spiritual life. My soul withered and died and had to calm my irritable restlessness and discontent with alcohol and drugs! My drinking lasted two long years and almost died sever times by smoking crack. I was a man that took new people and tried to bring them out of the gutter and find God to rely on Him daily and grow in the likeness of Him. I was the biggest hypocrite on the planet. I was killing myself smoking crack again and I didn’t want to face all my friends in AA and announce I was the biggest looser in the room. I came back and all my friends told me, “You know what to do & and stop feeling sorry for yourself”.
I read this story in the BIG BOOK of AA by a man who’d I’d met years before day three of being sober again. It read, “The moment I starting live in the solution rather than the problem, the obsession to drink whisky and do dope was removed from me”. I made a decision to stop shooting myself in the foot and cutting my own throat and to conform to the principals of alcoholics anonymous. I had to get outta my way and be a servant of God and do his work! I have been clean and sober since that day, April 25th 2004.
Life is uncomfortable, I knew I had to live with it at times. I had to just say to myself, here we go….DON’T QUIT, AND GO HELP SOMEBODY! My character flaws cannot spur up in my life when I am grateful and doing a unselfish act. I live a great life and ANYONE, ANYONE AT ALL CAN GET SOBER, as long as I quit doing what I want to do and be a REAL TEAM MEMBER. THERE IS NO “I” IN TEAM! I DRINK WHISKY, WE GET SOBER, is an AA quote that is whispered in the meetings. I cannot do this alone! When I help those who need support, a spiritual thing happens. God kicks in the door and has a seat and smiles on both the helper and the one being helped. The miracle happens.