Hi guys… it’s taken me a really long time to write this. I don’t really consider my story a special one, I haven’t survived cancer or gone to war and survived atrocities such as our wonderful veterans. I have an incredible friend who believes I have a story to share so maybe this will help in my PTS healing. (I leave the “D” off, by the way, because it’s not a disorder.. but a life long fight to live normal). So here goes my story..
I grew up in a nice “normal” family, in a nice “normal” midwestern town. My wonderful parents are still married and were professionally successful. I have an older brother that I am not close too and haven’t really ever been close too. I was a good daughter growing up, got decent grades, played soccer and stayed out of trouble.
My senior year of high school I was brutally sexually assaulted by my boyfriend at the time and was dropped off at home bruised and beaten from that incident. I hid the incident from my parents and did not reveal to them what happened until several years later when I started therapy. I managed to graduate from high school and go on to college. College was definitely a struggle because all I wanted to do was isolate myself from the memories and flashbacks.
I graduated from college with my Bachelors Degree in Law Enforcement. I immediately tested and got on with the State Police in the state I grew up in. I was even “lucky” enough to work in the area I grew up. I spent several years “on the road” in patrol and 9 years ago I was finally assigned to investigations. For the past 21 years I have been protecting and serving the citizens of the state that I was born and raised. What no one knows or knew was… for all these years, after I finally fall asleep at night I have severe nightmares. I relive the sex assault, I see all the dead bodies I’ve investigated over the years, I see all the babies I couldn’t save, and all the victims I couldn’t help.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love what I do! I wouldn’t give up my worst day on this job, for my neighbors best day at their job. I get up every morning to do a job that no one wants to do and my brothers, sisters and I get degraded for it.
I have 7 years left before retirement and I plan on giving back in some way to wounded warriors, both vets and first responders, in some way. 7 more years of never quitting! 7 more years of proving that I belong in this career as a female. 7 more years of proving that 90% of police officers are GREAT OFFICERS. 7 more years of helping every person that I possibly can!
Thank you for reading my story.
Have a great day!