Hey guys love the show. Just thought I’d share my story with y’all.
It all started in 2004 when I was convicted of DUI manslaughter and charged with the death of my best friend. The courts gave my house arrest because my friend was driving his own car and had a higher blood alcohol content than I did. I always tried to play it off like I was ok and everything was ok. After 15 months of house arrest I was approved by the court to move from Florida to Missouri. Yes you guessed it I was running away from my past. I ran away from everything that reminded me of everything that had happened including my son.
Still after 2 years of ignoring my past I was now living in Missouri and making new friends. I was even engaged to get married. I would only talk to my son ever once in a while. I thought I was doing the right thing and was getting better but in reality I was just hiding everything down deep inside. I would blow up on people at the stupidest things and for no reason. After about 8 years I only talked to my son once about every 6 months. I eventually ended up getting divorced because we were always fighting. I tried to get back in contact with my son. I also got a new girlfriend and decided that I wasn’t going to hide my past from her. She encouraged me to stop being negative about things and never judged me for the mistakes that I had made. She also encouraged me to try and get my son to come to Missouri for the summer. He came and we had a great time together. After he went home I called him once a week till his mom took his phone away because he was acting out at school and home. I didn’t talk to him for about 4 months. When I tried to get ahold of him again but he told me that he didn’t want to talk to me. I tried to talk to him but I was unsuccessful. Even his mom would text me telling me that I should stop trying. I was falling into a depression and didn’t want to show feeling again. I started hiding everything from everyone. I was considering quitting my job, breaking up with my girlfriend and just running away again. I felt like I was bringing everyone down with me and I didn’t want to do that to good people. About this time an old friend invited me to join a Facebook group called Tactical Dads. After a few weeks of talking to other guys in this group and seeing other guys going through the same thing encouraged me. I realized that I’m not the only one going through things like this. Was I a good dad? No but I was trying to get back involved. Also during this time I met another guy in the group who was starting the Semper Fi project. It’s a company that help mentor and encourage veterans and active duty military. After I asked questions and looked into his resource he had it changed my prospective on things. No im not a veteran but the things that he showed me really helped. During this time I still continued to try to talk to my son. He would talk to me sometimes and didn’t sometimes. However I stayed persistent in trying and never quit trying. I have also come clean with my girlfriend and told her about my depression and my plan to leave. We had a long talk and got back on the right track. With the help of Semper Fi project and changing my prospective on life and relationships I got into doing a daily devotion and spending time in payer with God. My girlfriend and I also do a devotion together. I talk to my son on a regular basis. I try to use my past and the things I’ve learned to help encourage others. I’ve also gotten into a workout routine and have lost some weight. I got my head heart and body back on the right track and I am enjoying life as it happens. It feels good to not hide or run from problems. I have adopted Never give up and Never quit as my life slogan. I couldn’t be happier with how things in my life are going. I enjoy everything now. I look forward to going to work and facing each and every day. My girlfriend has told me that I have a positive attitude towards things and her telling me that is the greatest compliment I have ever gotten. I have just gotten into listening to podcast and am currently listening to the one you guys did on July 19 of last year. They fire me up and definitely help keep me motivated and encouraged to face life with a positive outlook. Thank you for doing them and I look forward to listening to the rest. I am also excited to tell you that in 2 weeks I am going to pick up my son. He is coming to live with me. I am so glade I didn’t give up and didn’t quit.
Thanks for reading and thanks for the constant encouragement.
Josh