18 and lost

My story comes from a much younger perspective. I am only 18 years old but I hope that may help others my age. For most of my life I wanted to serve in the United State Marine Corps. On my Birthday in May of 2017 I was finally old enough to join up. I began the process of enlisting along with the full support of my family. I spent over eight months working as hard as possible both physically and mentally to get into the Corps. In January of 2018 I received the news that I was not able to serve due to hearing loss I had occurred from working with my father as a butcher. The news hit me hard. That night I shut off my phone and slumped into a deep depression. That night I had my rifle in hand and a round chambered ready to give up. Before I could go any further my best friend from high school walked in and refused to leave me alone. I remembered an old friend that took his own life and how much it destroyed his family and I refused to do that to mine. For the next three weeks those closest to me kept me in sight at all times. Shortly after this all of my friends that I attempted to join with all shipped off and I was left alone in our hometown. I lost my way. I dropped out of school, quit my job, moved away from home, lost my girlfriend (realize now that was a good decision), and was ready to give up yet again. I silently battled with my emotions for months before a close friend was opened up to me and confessed they going through a rough time and I felt God calling me. I stepped up and helped her in every way I could and realized what I feel is my true calling. Since all of this happened I have returned to my hometown and began studying to become a chaplain. I work hard during the day to pay the bills and study all night. I am hoping to join the ranks of my local Police force and serve my community and those other offers as a chaplain. Thank you all for your show it has given me the drive to continue to push forward. Your show has also pushed me to peruse my drive to serve and I now work as a firefighter until I can become a cop.